The rest of summer

I'm not quite sure if I'm excited or somewhat remorseful. This summer has been such a mixed bag, part of me wishes I could of spent my summer better, made better choices, and not be in the place where I am now. In the meanwhile this other part of me is just excited to say goodbye to the summer and get on with my life and with school and with training and while I'm somewhat genuinely excited for all that, a good portion of that excitement stems from the fact that I'll have something going on in my life again. I really rarely ever have much going on in my life, even more so after the bridge burnings that occurred over the summer. So to recount and say goodbye to the rest of the summer.

Jubilation

I started hanging out with Elliott and Cat a lot lately. They amuse me in that they live together and act like an old boring married couple. I've known Elliott faintly in high school but only in the last year have I really gotten to know him much better. Cat I met last year as well seeing how she had classes with me both semesters and saved my skin numerous times in chemistry class. They're both great fun and have become great friends to me. So I had come back from hanging out with Nate and it was around the 4th of July and they had invited me over for a fondue night. I thought it was later so I arrived late and missed most of the fondue sadly...but we went and saw the fireworks at the stadium on campus and that almost made up for the fact that I didn't get to stuff myself with chocolate covered strawberries. We then drove around to find a secluded park to fire off some firecrackers and mini fireworks which was more fun. Then we drove back and I karaoke with Elliott on the drive home and impressed everyone with my encyclopedic knowledge of songs and song lyrics. On another occasion we saw the Transformers movie and it transcended awesome. I mean, come on, it's a movie about giant robots in disguise. haha.

The Boys are Back in Town

As I trod down the asphalt hill that led from the rec center back towards my apartment, I ran, or rather more appropriately, I was run into by old friend Dan Bjugstad. We small talked and exchanged numbers and to my surprise a week or so later he messaged me inviting me to a huge birthday party he was hosting. At the party, I reconnected with high school chums Brett Eicher and John Henry and their friend Sam and his sister Rachel and high school acquaintance Tana and a bunch of other drunk people who I didn't know. There was merriment, a police bust, walking, rain, and late night breakfast at Denny's. Since then, I've gotten together with them to hang out and play Clue, visit Walmart late at night, more Denny's, and see movies (the Simpsons Movie to be exact). I'm looking forward to hanging out with them more regularly.

Shakespeare in the sun

My friendship with Deena is this unique and tentative complex entity of on and off again friendship. I had been trying to convince her to hang out and visit me in Boulder and was able to finally do so by enticing her to an evening theatrical performance of Shakespeare's Midsummer Nights Dream as part of CU's annual Shakespeare festival. It was by far the most culturally diverse rendition of the play I had ever seen, not that it really mattered and what was very neat was that the play was performed outside in this almost Greek like theater (with stone benches and all). The sun was out for the first two acts and it was pretty hot that day though. We even saw Elliott and Cat, Brett and Rachel. Introduced her to the greasy but local pizza favorite that is Cosmos. We walked around campus and talked. It was good to see her again and look forward to seeing her again, though most likely that won't be till another year or so. That's sorta how our friendship works, this ebb and flow of long distance friendship (regardless of the fact that the distance is only less than two hours away), long periods of awkwardness interspersed with periods of forgiveness and renewed comfort in conversation and laughter.

Small world

While I was back home for a weekend or so, my family and I went to blockbuster one night looking for a movie to rent. While we didn't find anything rent worthy, I happened upon an old friend I hadn't seen since high school. Crouching in one of the aisle checking out a movie, I noticed and instantly recognized Jamie Leftler. The guy hasn't changed much at all it seems. It's crazy running into him because he was a guy I joked around a lot with since middle school as well. We'd play hacky sack during lunch in high school and he was one of the first friends I met in Colorado. For some reason, I didn't see him at graduation and I hadn't heard from him at all since. He told me he was attending business school at PPCC and working full time and how he really didn't know what he wanted to do in college. I gave him my number and told him to come hang out in boulder some time. haha, it always strikes me as crazy when I come across an old friend. Small world.

Getting back on the mats...

I was remiss in my martial arts training over the last year and it really didn't contribute to my success as I had hoped it would, if anything it made me realize how essential a physically active lifestyle and martial arts especially was necessary to me. Training and fighting is a way to work out stress and distract me from worries, not to mention I absolutely enjoy it and it gives me something to strive for. It's vital in my life. Anyway, Muay Thai kickboxing is a martial art I've always wanted to try out. Coming from a Taekwondo background, I was fascinated in learning another martial art that also emphasized kicking, not to mention I had heard that the conditioning of Muay Thai fighters is some of the best in the world. I took a class offered by the CU Rec center, which was a good introduction to the art but it was essentially a class of conditioning and bag work. We would never spar or do much more than bag work. Not that that's a bad thing but I was ready to take my training up a notch. So this year, I looked around and tried to find a boxing or kickboxing gym to train at. I settled on Easton's Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, which is conveniently close by. It's a BJJ school first and foremost and the Muay Thai program there is new and seems to have been added by demand from the BJJ students, since it looks like a lot of the students started as BJJ students there. Fortunately the program is being headed up by UFC veteran and K1 champion Duane "Bang" Ludwig. So, I took a free class/orientation class at the school Wednesday. I wasn't the only one there that day either, also taking the orientation was this beautiful girl about my age. I forced myself not to be shy and introduced myself and learned her name was Lauren and that she had done a some training in Durango back home. I even teamed up with her for pad work during the class and I have to admit that I was really impressed with her ability; she had a hell of a kick. I decided to sign up (not because of Lauren but because of the training opportunity, honest!) and will be training there for the next six months. I'm psyched and excited and looking forward to it all. My goal is to have an amateur fight by the end of the school year if possible.

Olympic Taekwondo

One of the advantages of living in Colorado Springs is the fact that there's an Olympic Training Center in town. Every now and then, they'll hold events for olympic qualifiers and such and I had gotten the chance a few years back to see the Olympic Taekwondo team qualifiers. With the Olympics nearing, it was time once again for the TKD Olympic team qualifiers and for two days I got the opportunity to observe Olympic level Taekwondo competition first hand. I got to see two time gold medalist Steven Lopez fight and saw silver medalist Nia Abdullah fight along with many other equally competitive Taekwondo fighters fight. It was absolutely incredibly; I had never seen the crowd (made up of other TKD fighters and team mates) get so into a TKD tournament and couldn't help myself from getting into the matches with my own cheers and jeers from time to time. It was an absolute blast to get to see such great Taekwondo first hand and it really got me pumped and excited for the TKD club to start up again and so I can start competing and fighting again. I love this sport, it is a real passion for me and seeing high level competition sets a goal for me to strive for. I want to be a great fighter like those guys, it's something to train for.

Well, the fight continues...

Babies Hug Bullets Hide

A year ago, Nate embarked on a journey to Germany to serve his country. It's been an odd experience trying to fill in the gap that Nate's absence has left in my life, almost futile really. Even though we talk all the time online, and that I had plenty of personal and academic distractions, and even I'd still would have only seen him every so often had he still attended Fort Collins and not enlisted as he fatefully had; it's a noticeable absence to try to get used to. Nate has such a magnanimous personality, he really does steal the spotlight, which is a contrast to my more quiet and introverted demeanor. It's fun being around Nate; he has such energy that he effuses and infects everybody around him and I feed off of that. He's one of the few people who I feel completely comfortable around and can be wacky and goofy and silly around. It's great fun.

It's somewhat difficult to describe and recount what all we did. It was a few months back after all and we did do a lot of just generic hanging out where not a lot happened but still enjoyable fun. So rather than describe hours of us just talking and joking and trying to figure out what we should do, I'll string together some pics and make some random comments. Lame pic post a go go!



Here's Nate and I laughing after a hilarious joke. There were many moments where we just joked around. The title of this post is an inside reference to when we were watching Children of Men. He often would sing Umbrella by Rhianna. There were bouts of gay chicken between him and Tai often. I remarked about a beautiful girl on tv about how I would "stab her with my penis" and I was literally in tears with laughter over Nate's late night story about the "Twist and Shout." He has the video of me just laughing for 5 minutes straight to prove it too.



Myself and Spencer, under the instruction of Nate's to look "awkward and uncomfortable". Spence played Ian in the horrible amateur student film of the same name for anyone who attended the Doherty Film Festivals and remembers that horrendous film. He also kind of look like an Asian John Mayer.



Lol. Nate has apparently adopted Spence as his "protege." Nate obviously treats him well. I also find it funny how he gives Spencer relationship advice considering Spence is at an age where relationships are a shallow faux imitation (he's 15) and because Nate is a very bitter angry man in regards to every girl he's dated. Granted, I'm not in any better position..haha



This was an interesting story. Nate, Matt, and I were treated to dinner at a sports bar thanks to Michelle (Nate's mother) and her friend. I ordered a western burger, which was quite delicious might I add, and secretly wanted to play darts. Matt and Nate went to the jukebox to pick some tunes to play when this small bald guy wearing tight jeans with requisite oversized cowboy belt buckle and a tucked in t-shirt walks over to Nate to question him if he was with the "ladies" he was sitting with. Man that must have been awkward, having some creep walk up to you to with the intentions of trying to get lucky with your mom. We walked home afterwards for funsies talking and joking around.



Tai and I on one of our many late night rendezvous to the local Village Inn and or Denny's. There's a couple more pics of us at VI. It seems like the most exciting things to do in Colorado Springs past 9-11 is go to Walmart (which we also did often) or VI for strawberry milkshakes and strawberry pie.



Lol. *Shrugs* I should use this for a profile pic sometime.



There was plenty of Guitar Hero played. Though Nate, even though he owns the game himself, refused to play because he was embarassed about not being good enough or some other bull. Spence is 15 and actually plays rel guitar and he's probably the only person I've met who's as good as if not better than me at the game. He's beaten Jordan, which I still have yet to do (nor do I really want to do to be honest) but I have more experience with the game (considering he doesn't own it though and only plays the game at his friends, somewhat an unfair handicap I guess) so I still beat him on most songs we played. None the less, I do bow down and give mad props to thee.



I don't know why or who I kept calling or who kept calling me but for whatever reasons I kept getting phone calls when I hung out with Nate, which is bizarre considering how rare I get phone calls ever. It's pretty rude I admit and it bugs me when people do it to me, so sorry buddy but really, what the hell? *Shrugs*



Another night at the VI. Haha, I made some crazy weird faces. This was another fun night and this pic cracks me up. The waitress was pretty cool, her name was Heidi and Nate mentioned my previous history with girls named Heidi and I playing along offered to tattoo her name on my chest. Man I'm crazy around Nate. haha



Leaving the Inn...Probably to head off to walmart or something.



All during the vacation I kept nagging about what we should do activity wise since I'm just one of those types of people that has to be active and doing things, which is the exact opposite of Nate's wing it philosophy. One of the things we brainstormed was to go bowling and thus we went bowling.



Haha, Spence and Nate bowling at the same time in the same lane! Quite a fancy, till the pins locked up and the managers warned us not to do it again or they'd kick us out. Still, made for a great photo op!



A bunch of asian guys standing around a white car...soooo Initial D!



Chillin'



Haha, Tai kept stealing Nate's hat. There he is with it on sleeping away.



This was a great pic. Us all sharing a beer. Nate had a night where he invited a bunch of friends over and they bought up a lot of liquor. I had a few coke and rums and wanted to drink more but the guys invited (Derek Klinge, Chris Eggleston, Dustin and some other friends) were friggin power alcoholics and had most of the liquor drank in the first 30 minutes. They didn't know how to pace themsevles at all. *sigh* Oh well. Dustin was drunk off his ass and just kept rambling incoherantly and Derek was soooo annoying, he wouldn't shut up at all and talked the entire night in a haughty music snob manner, so usual Derek Klinge for anyone who's ever met him. Eh, still fun. Not to mention I freaked out Nate when I called him and told him I was wandering around lost on some street when in reality I was with Tai getting Guitar Hero. haha, oops.



Haha, last night of Nate's time in the springs, we decided to go to VI and on the way there we found a shopping cart and so we all took turns pushing and riding the cart on our way there. haha oh we must of woke up the entire neighborhood with that rumbling cart.



Walking back after having the last strawberry milkshake and midnight breakfast with Nate.

And that pretty much sums up and concludes my misadventures with Nate, my Rosencrantz to my Guildenstern. There was much merriment to be had and much breakfast and milkshakes drank and many times was Scrubs quoted. Some other things I forgot to mention that occured was how Nate bought me Odin Sphere on an impulse after I told him how awesome I had heard the game to be, which was very generous of him. The game's beautiful, well written, and fun but guiltily I haven't gotten very far in the game due to the fact that it's such a smart game that it requires you to think through and micromanage your items and equipment so much that I rarely have the time or the desire to play it and often have opted for inferior and more mindless games like Dynasty Warriors. This is the same reason why I can't get past the first 4 or 5 chapters in Disgaea, even though I love that game and praise it highly as well. Oh Atlus, you are quickly becoming my next favorite publisher with your quirky anime inspired sprite based games. We also saw Knocked Up, which was pretty good though i wouldn't say as funny as 40 Year Old Virgin. I guess it was a little hard to relate to the female protagonist going through pregnancy since I lack those functioning set of genitalia. Still had it's funny moments though.

Before I knew it, two weeks had passed and it was time to say goodbye once more. I offered to drive Nate to the airport and Tai and Spence tagged along so that we could all say goodbye to Nate there. On the drive home Tai and Spence kept banging on the back of my chair and pretending like they had broken something and I pretended to act irrate when really I just didn't want to say too much and reveal myself choking up from having said goodbye.



Fun times buddy. I'll miss ya and can't wait to hear and see ya once more!

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Arguments in a Cable Car

June was an interesting month filled with both highs and lows that rendered me victim to a gamut of emotions. If it were a Chinese dish, it'd be the sweet and sour pork (or chicken if poultry be your choosing). Specifically June is punctuated by two major events of polar opposite emotions, one of which being of great joy and the other of great frustration. I have concluded thus to separate my recollection of June into two posts since it'd seem really unfair to allow the negativity of one event to spill into the other. Not to mention both events are significant (in terms of recordings of my life I suppose) to warrant their own posts and they occur conveniently in succession anyway. First the sour; which has left me with a slight bitter taste even now but one that has been for the most part washed down with time. That or I've merely become compliant with the whole situation. *shrugs* To be completely truthful, I'd much rather not write about the subject and just move on since that's essentially what I've done what with it being a month later and all, but I suppose it's important enough to record.

"Let's rearrange, I wish you were a stranger I could disengage, Just say that we agree and then never change, Soften a bit until we all just get along, But that's disregard, Find another friend and you discard, As you lose the argument in a cable car, Hanging above as the canyon comes between" Over My Head (Cable Car) by the Fray

It's a curious matter how much alcohol changes people. Everybody has a reaction to it, some more drastic than others. Some get stupid and retarded, some become chill and sedated. The loss of one's personal inhibitions can reveal details and verisimilitudes of a person that you've never seen before, utterly transforming an acquaintance or a friend you knew into a complete stranger and in a single night a bridge can come crashing down in a fiery blaze.

Mike doesn't drink too often. Mike being my roommate and friend from high school. Mike doesn't drink too often, not as much as some of my other friends; however, when Mike does drink, he gets wasted, absolutely hammered and shit faced. He's an absolute mess when drunk and on more than one occasion I've had to take care and babysit his intoxicated self; I didn't mind because I considered him a friend and that's what you expect of friends. On one night he was solely responsible for throwing up in his room and apparently in his kitchen leaving behind a foul stench that would linger for a good month or so.

Mike has this character he does sometimes, he exaggerates his blackness. That is to say, his inner "ghetto" comes out to quote Nate. It used to be comedic fodder and the satirical usage of racial stereotypes was what we built our friendship on originally. Truthfully though, it gets old after a while and the random outburst of the word "nigga" as it pierces the apartment air would only inspire a smirk and a shaking of one's head at best and a yawn or roll of the eyes at worse. Everything and anything that happens is racism against him because of his color rather than any real fault of his. His occasional usage of "chink" in reference to me would silently offend me.

It's easy to tell when Mike's drunk, he's quite obvious really. He talks in a loud and shouting voice, likely oblivious of his volume. It was around ten and him and Dave had come back from a party perhaps and he turned the tv on and started talking about a boxing fight that had occurred that night. I had missed the match since I had been taking a nap but I humored him anyway with conversation. They left soon after and went down to the neighbor's for some more revelry and I returned to a conversation online with Kaye whom I hadn't heard from in a while. An hour or so pasted and it was getting late and I started wondering about Mike so I head over there to see what my friends are up to. The gang's all there playing beer pong but I notice Mike is not present. I ask Cory where he's at out of curiosity and discover that he's missing and that they don't even know where he's at. So I start giving him a couple calls on his cell and he finally calls and he's absolutely incoherent on the phone; he doesn't even know where he's at. He's at some party somewhere is all he knows. So I go back to talk to Cory and Dave, who had gotten a hold of him in the meanwhile as well and convince Cory to help me go retrieve his drunk ass from the party he had managed to find his way back to and that which just so happened to be across the street in the apartment building next door. We go there only to find him talking up some girl which isn't too surprising and convince him he needs to return with us and go to bed because he's wasted and should get some sleep. He sweet talks his way and bargains for a few more minutes and we're finally able to get him to come with us with help from the lady who he was talking up, her obviously sensing the same thing we were. So we wrangle him up and bring him to his room and we set him down to sleep. After that's all done Cory heads back and I decide to pick up my copy of Catch 22 and read a little in the living room just in case if Mike wakes up and needs any assistance. Sure enough, not too much longer Mike comes stumbling out of his room shirtless like he's a ninja creeping his way towards the door and he doesn't even seem to see me at first...and this is where all the fun began.

Allow me to reiterate that Mike was well drunk hours ago and had probably kept drinking since and now he was creeping out the door with no shirt or shoes on with only his jean pants on. I put my book down and get up to ask him what he thinks he's doing and stop him halfway out the door. He starts trying to bargain and plead with me that he'll be right back and just wants to go talk to some girl real quick, after much debate and difficulty on his part, I decide to let him go thinking that the girl he's referring to is next door with Cory, Jarret, and Dave and all them and that that'd be fine and then he'd go to sleep. So I let him go but watch him as he makes a b line to the exit door to the right and I jump into action to get in between him and the door becoming fully aware of his intentions to return to the party. I become more stern with him asking him what he thinks he's doing and tell him that he's not going across the street to some random party drunk and half naked. He keeps trying to talk his way around me and force his way past me.

And that's when the bridge caught fire.

I pushed back. He kept trying to force his way past me and had shouldered me into the door so with no where left to go I tried to stave him off with my arms. It was an innocent enough push, not a hard tough guy push that starts fights, I was merely trying to get some room and keep him back, but start a fight it did. He exploded. His intoxication making him irritable and belligerent and right before my eyes he became Denzel Washington in Training Day, thinking he was black King Kong all of a sudden. Yet I was not going to let him go out in the middle of the night drunk off his ass to some stranger's party so we're standing there arguing with each other, which escalates to us yelling at each other in the middle of the hallway to eventually a shoving match. He pushes me through the door into the staircase and he almost even pushes me down the stairs all the while yelling in my face how he's better than me and so I push his drunk ass into the wall and somewhere in the altercation he decides to slap my glasses off my face.

And that was the last straw. If I were a violent person, if I were someone who couldn't keep my cool and was quick to start fights, had an ego and was looking for trouble, I would of struck him back in retaliation. But that's not who I am, for as strong as I pass myself off to be, I'm not, I'm rather weak and I abhor conflict. I avoid it like the plague and do my best to evade trouble as much as possible to be honest. Not to mention I had no interest in fighting my friend. So I backed down, I picked up my glasses and I went back inside. Mike sensing I was upset (how when he was so drunk puzzles me, let alone why he'd still care after attempting to throw me down a flight of stairs) followed me in attempting to talk to me and settle me down, only to result in us arguing again and more yelling and more of him talking shit and talking to me like he was so much better than I was, stuttering and stumbling through his words mind you, which all led back to more grappling till finally I yelled at him to fucking go and do whatever the hell he wanted to do and so he did, slamming the door behind him. I gave Cory a text message telling him to look after Mike and I decided to pack up my clothes and toiletry for the trip back to the Springs. (Something I had planned for a while since Nate was coming back, not to be mistaken as a reaction to my conflict with Mike) I was fed up. This wasn't the first time I had got into an argument with Mike but this was the most severe and as such I was fed up with him. I was also fed up about a lot of other things such as the price of living and attending Boulder. I was sick and fed up with being there.

"But that's how it's got to be; It's coming down to nothing more than apathy; I'd rather run the other way than stay and see; The smoke and who's still standing when it clears" Over my Head (Cable Car) by the Fray

So I got online and started looking at what it would take to transfer to UCCS. I was really serious too, I looked at what requirements were necessary for me to drop out of CU and then what paperwork was needed to transfer into UCCS. Whether or not UCCS had my major, and they did or at least they had an Exercise and Sports Physiology specialization, and if my credits would transfer. I also sent an email to the manager of the apartments asking if there was a way to get out of my renewed lease. I didn't want to be there in that apartment and in Boulder anymore.

I sat in bed for a while thinking things through. It was radical and spontaneous but that's how I am at times when I get fed up or bored with something, I make drastic changes. I weighed the ups and downs and at the time the ups of transferring were beating the downs every time. I did however make some good new friends up here but I was willing to make those friendships casualties. I wouldn't be able to take TKD anymore since there's no club at UCCS, and I had been planning to return all sophomore year but I told myself I could always find instruction in the Springs at a real dojang. I figured I could live back home again and lessen the financial burden placed on my parents and myself considerably by attending a college in the Springs and if worse comes to worse and I get fed up with my mother, I could always move out and find an apartment that would likely still be economically cheaper than what I pay now in Boulder. All the while through my window and the hallway window to the apartment adjacent, I could hear Mike yelling and making a scene in a stand off with the guy I assume holding the party and Cory, who had gone to fetch Mike for the second time that night. I took note as Cory gave up and left Mike to his own devices acknowledges Cory's as far more wiser than me for not putting up with Mike's in his current temperance.

Sometime next day, after I had arrived back home, Mike sent me some text message about some apology he posted up on facebook. I never bothered to read it. After I had hung out with Nate, I returned back to Boulder for the month of July. It is now the first of August and I have yet to speak a single word to Mike and have only encountered him on few occasions. I lock my door now when I leave and I keep to myself in my room now mostly. I also looked around some apartments in Boulder, having decided to stay in Boulder when I realized that I felt more attached to the college atmosphere than I initially had believed but was unsuccessful in finding an apartment that was considerably cheap enough, close enough, or furnished enough, in comparison to my already expensive apartment to warrant the hassle of moving out...though I now regret my decision to try and "stick it out" for a year and not go through the hassle to move into a marginally cheaper but independent single room studio apartment.

Don't misinterpret, I'm not mad or upset or angry at Mike. I also realize that he was wildly drunk and unaware of his actions, but alcohol doesn't transform you into a monster, it merely reveals the dark heart inside and I was disgusted with what I saw of Mike's. It's not a matter of if I forgive him or if I'll ever forgive him. I don't hold any grudge or personal vendetta. I'm just done. The bridge is burned and I have no interest in rebuilding. If he ever raises his hand to strike me again, I won't be holding back my fists for the sake of friendship. He's no longer my friend as far as I'm concerned. Just a roommate I have to put up with for another year.

But whatever, that's that! I've moved on and this blog post is the final act and observation as far as I'm concerned. My friend Mike no longer lives in the room across from me, there's just a stranger who happens to share the rent and kitchen who I don't know and have no interest in interacting with at all.

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